Personally I always felt like Hobbits age at roughly the same rate as exceptionally healthy humans and that the reason they don’t come of legal age until 33 is because have you met people in their 20s because Tolkien did
Funny: Pippin is an idiot because he’s not an adult yet.
Funnier: Pippin is an idiot because he’s 28.
jolkien rolkien rolkien tolkien, an actual college professor: none of you are fucking valid
me, a 29-and-a-half year old: i mean, but is he wrong
me @ my cat: baby enjoy toy. mommy buy for you. enjoy entertainment baby
cat: fuck you. give me more crumpled starbucks receipts
i arrive at the gay bar in full butch getup and i look like super hot like trust me and i start buying chocolate milk for the femmes at the bar…..between my striking good looks and my generosity concerning tasteful dairy products i have impressed them greatly and after an hour of chatting I make my move. i reach into my pocket and remove a large, gorgeous lichen affixed to a piece of bark from its protective herbarium packet that I have concealed in my pants pocket. “it’s a symbiotic relationship between a fungus and an algae,” i begin,
You say shitpost but I swear to god I would pick up the U-haul on our way home from the bar don’t try me
cats don’t know what words mean and i love that about them. i can say “you are a beautiful little angel child and i love you more than anything else in the entire world” but also “you wretched little clown bastard. you’ve created such a big mess and now i have to clean it because i have hands and you don’t. this is god’s cruelest joke.” and they don’t care they just say :3 and put their little paws on me
I could have a cuter room if I wasn’t a goblin who threw all her shit on the floor
league-of-legends-christmas-boys:
the cake says 3 but there are at least 6 rats pictured
they are all brothers and they are all turning 3
should have realized im a huge lesbian when i was like 14 and thought girls only wanted boyfriends for the title of having a boyfriend and being a guy’s girlfriend because the concept of actually liking a man and wanting to spend quality time with him in any intimate context was so unbelievable to me
SAME and I always thought girls were exaggerating if they looked at a guy and were like “oh he’s so hot!” because the concept of actually finding a man attractive was so alien to me so I just assumed everyone was pretending
lesbian culture is thinking that girls were only into guys ironically